HEY, OLD TIMES!

I met an old friend recently and there's no feeling in the world will equally express the happiness of meeting old friends. I'm not saying that it is the best feeling in the world. There's so many kind of happiness. Just as how happy we are when we meet our families, both are bring ultimate happiness, but they're different. 
She's one of my close friend in junior high--yes, we've been friends for approximately ten years (and  always keep growing). There are five of us, five young girls who were agreed to be tied in a bond we called 'friends'. We might not as close as any kind of a group friend can be--we barely even have a heart-to-heart talk situation, but how close anyway a girl group friend of early teenager can be?  How serious early teenager's problem of life can be? That's not what I want to tell in the first place, anyway. What about go back to the rendezvous story, curious soul?
The meeting was taking place at capital city of the district where she currently lived in for education reason. And I went there for, well, um.. vacation? No. Well, an inexplicable reason. So I contacted her, hastily, one or two days before, and we're happened to be met. I always wonder about the way universe took part of our life; we could plan something as carefully and sequenced as it can be and ended up fail while several sudden plans often came up worked out. But as it out of human's reins, all we can do is to thank for what happen.
Meeting her was a thing. It forced me to recall the memories of us, five of us. They were pictured in my mind--some were clear, partly blurred--rapidly, substituted one another. I'm trying to soak the feeling every time I was thinking about old times, and I'm not certain of what I feel. But I remember: it's a positive feeling. My mind wandered to those days of our firsts--you know, being in early teenager means it's time to experience a lot of new things, thousand first things happen in our life. The so-called first crush (or first love?), first puberty problem, first hangout--real hangout, and what else you named it. And then those birthdays habit, we used to celebrate each other birthday on Saturday, always on Saturday, and do photoboxes (it was so happening back then, remember?). When we were mad at each other due to a simple causation, it caused me a little unwillingness to go to school. But when I look back at it now, it feels so silly, to be mad over not-so-important thing. Next is about the moment when school is nearly comes to an end. It's the senior year. There's one girl who's join us later, so there are six of us. And in the precious last year--which means we're senior high students soon to be and it's enlarging possibilities of being apart--we're decided to make it unforgettable. Short story, we were planning for a video making and I must say it wasn't really done well, but hey, we've got the fun! And we found irreplaceable and shut up n drive as our favorite songs *lol. There was a lot more, but these are the most that left a trace in me. Now that we're here, years later, I'm missing the old times...
Dear girls, I don't know if you read this, but one day if you do, here's a little write for you:
We don't have to vowing to be friends forever, make a phone call everyday, or catch up regularly, to be friends. It was all sweet memories, worth to remember, and deserves a place in our heart. Keep it, and I think that's enough to makes us friends. So,   will you keep it? Because I'll do. We might do not have as many chances to meet as we used to be. Maybe we'll meet again someday--and I choose to believe that way. Maybe it will merely some of us, maybe all of us. When the day come, shall we team up again?



Met this friend is a thing
We were reconnecting
Rebuild what's fall down after school's ending
Because old days are always interesting
Though sometimes made us wondering
And stuck up instead of moving
Here's to reminding;
in the small talk we were enjoying
in the future we were staring
to see what's coming.

xx virgamaleva

ASTROMOON


Around last year, I unintentionally found such a marvelous work of art. It's an advertisement of a company in a form of short movie. I will not tell what kind of product or the company's field in the first place, but I can tell for sure that they can delivered the message straight on point without have to explicitly saying it. I liked the way they wrapped it in a complete package; they combine current social issues and technologies beside the product itself and how the three of them linked.
The short movie itself is a story about a girl who lived in the fear of being real since she get bullied due to her facial appearance (current social issues). She's an idol on social media as she seen pretty much flawless and been adored by her hundred-thousand followers who's not knowing her pimply face in real life and how she'd go around with her masker on. She get her flawless face using a certain face-editor application on her mobile phone, and upload it on social media (current tech). Later on she move abroad and start a new life where she thinks she won't get hurts, unrealizing a beautiful truth following behind. There's a boy who's happened to be her schoolmate, introduced himself as a graphic novelist asked for her help to translate his novel in other language. So they're reconnected, leaving her clueless about his actual identity. The conversation keep going--with she's still in her masker--until one day the boy arrives unannouncedly in the country where she lives. He decides to hands over the novel directly to her, but she refuses as she afraid of his reaction if he find out the truth and ask him to go back. So he does, 
before he tells her that he was her schoolmate who got bullied due to his overweight issue and was enchanted to met her. And she never knows it, until she read his novel...
A man in a bulky spacesuit has been floating aimlessly through the galaxy for countless years. One day, the force of gravity pulls the astronaut closer to the moon. And on that day everything is going to change. The astronaut looks up at the moon floating about him and admires its beauty by himself. But the cluster of stars shining nearby and made the moon appear dark and lonely. At that moment he makes a decision to do something.
The astronaut holds his breath and takes off his bulky suit piece by piece. He swims against the pull of gravity with difficulty, towards the moon that is being cruelly mocked by the cluster of stars. Getting closer and closer. The body that had been cocooned now feels naked and light. The astronaut thinks to himself, "Did I sacrifice everything for myself, or for whom?" The answer is that it's worth it, just to be able to float up high, and whisper to the moon: screw them all. Because after this, we will fall into each other's orbit.
The girl named Lalin, which means the moon in some other language. The boy named Nut. He narrates her as the moon and he's the astronaut. He wants to tell how he got to change because of her, in a good way. We can see the way he shows how her existences affected him and his life never the same again, by addressing the novel:
FOR LALIN, THE GIRL WHO HAS CHANGED MY ORBIT FOREVER.
This was an ads of a beauty clinic company in Thailand. I love the way they created the story about fearful of being real because of facial appearance and how they offered solution: go to their clinic to beautifying self and be fearless. Such a brilliant story for an ads. Apart from that, it also tells us that at our absolute best, we still won't be good enough for the wrong person and at our worst, we'll still be worth it for the right one. Just as the moon for the astronaut.



Forget her tattered memories,
or the pages others took;
You are her ever after-
the hero of her book.
- Lang Leav, Lullabies



STAR IS YOU



It's a stiflingly hot night. Standing here, I crave for some night views from the balcony. There are not so many stars in the sky tonight. It's not that they're absent, I just dealing with limitedness of sight. At least that's what I've always remember--stars are always there. That's the moment when suddenly popped out of my head, a memory of a star who once came in my life.
This is happen now and almost every night before I slept soundly. Some unforgettable memories leaving marks and forced my mind recalling pastimes. Chances I didn't take, surroundings I've never paid attention to; wondering what differences would be brought if another choices were taken. 

I close my eyes, my face towards the sky and all I see is you. You have those bright eyes. The way you smirked when you tease somebody, or your mischievous smile across the room, described it best and I must confess that I liked it. It was easy. Seeing you far from here was easy. Right up until the universe conspires to put us closer. You're so into rock and I'm pop, you liked mountain and I prefer beach, you're kind of everyone would adore and I'm a freak sitting in the corner, you'd put up potential conversation pieces and I'm the one who always brought things into silent. You're so high and I'm down here. One thing that I'm sure of, it felt so wrong. I used to believe we could see things clearer in a closer way. On the contrary, it was all concretely blurred around us.
Everything went uncertain as we lived by groping the future. We asked for a lot but none that we got--not a bit. We could act like we enjoyed it but silently we know, step outside from the whole meretricious is an obligation. I looked around me, everybody was all enjoyed and so peaceful. Unlike me, my heart was thumping thousand beats in a minute within anticipation about what I'm gonna do. I'm as if pretending to be confused, because of all the offered options, I know exactly what to pick. I'm shaking, so I whispered to myself: this will led us to be real, as an encouragement.

As the wind blows featuring the sound of the singing leafs, I look back to one moment when you left me speechless. I used to be the one who did, except that time. You must heard the rush in my voice, the necessity, because we don't need much time until we reached the word 'agree'. The sound of cicadas bring me back to reality. I open my eyes and realize it took quite a long time--enough to grow a palm tree--to see it again objectively with much clearer mind and no hard feeling.
I must be looked so dazed and stupid, seeing how everything turned to be complicated. I take a stalk of broken-white rose, pull the rosebud out, one by one. Can we be healed over time through accepting, sincerely letting go, and slowly forgetting what couldn't be undone. Then I realize, some things cannot really be forgotten.

We'd never know what we're destined to be. There will always those mysteries and curiosities that are not meant to be answered. Things like why things didn't worked out, maybe I'm figure it out already. Star. We can't see it up close since its lights are too blinded. That's how we supposed to be. Here comes the distance, so I can see you right where you are--where a star suppose to be seen from: a f a r.
As I see white tiny line speedily passing through the sky, I'm questioning myself if it's a falling star. At a glance, I wonder if it was a sign to show me that you'd still remember it too, but I reluctantly admit. Sighing, I smile toward the dark sky and turn around. I open and close the door slowly to minimizing possible noises, get in to the next journey of anything life would offer.
EPILOG
"All I know, I don't have any reasons to stay here any longer."
"All I know, things don't always need reasons."
". . . . ."





There is always a lovely way to look at things, you know?
Like the days we spent apart, are as beautiful and essential as the spaces between the stars.
- Christopher Poindexter


APART BEFORE START

We fall apart when we didn't have the chance to start.

There was someone I knew, several years ago. Unless one of my best friends told me about him, I'd never notice him. I didn't see him around like literally. Or maybe I did see him, but I just not really stared at him because I was staring at something else--or someone. Since that day, I think I saw him more often. He'd just there, in every corner. Always showed up everywhere like shadows. Since that day, some of his friends start to put attention on me. Sometimes they conveyed me something from him, which is I'd like it better if he's the one who gave it to me directly. I'm not those cool kids, these kind of public attention make me slightly uncomfortable.
I don't know if he's kind of mind reader or something because I never told anybody but he started to make a contact with me, directly. He'd like to know my likes and dislikes. And I found he wasn't like what I think he was. I never thought how a person who likes to deliver something through his friends appears to be such a talkative one. He likes to tell stories. He likes to throw his opinions about small things. And he liked to ask me about any little things that raise my happiness like no one ever could. He once said how naive I am and he'd like to makes fun of it. Another fact surprises me when I knew aside from how cheerful and tend to be wild and careless he is, he has this side--he told my best friend about his struggle for love.
Later on, I seemed start to get used to his existence. I ever asked him why did he always show up like shadows. He didn't answer me. After a thoughtful pause he asked me with a bit hesitation, why am I being such magnetic. All I can do was glued.

If you ever read Disney stories or watched Disney movies about how the Princes come with all their warmth and gentleness, he came the same way only in realistic version. He didn't offered a happy ending. He just showed his best efforts as a human being. He might did his best already.
Unfortunately, I didn't.

We were more than just good friends, but this is how it ends. The saddest thing is, of all the good parts of what has happened, fact that sometimes some things do fall apart before they even have the chance to start is what I remember the most.
Everybody hurts, so I think it's okay for me to be afraid. I think I was afraid of losing him. But can we really lose something that was not even ours?


There's never one particular reason why two people are pulled apart. All these years later, I have stopped looking for answers. I know better now, that love is never a guarantee. Not when you have the rest of the world to contend with.
Sometimes you have to step back and look at these things from a philosophical standpoint. And I know loving him has taught me something about myself, it has broadened my understanding of the world. And if it has done the same for him, then it wasn't all in vain.
- Lang Leav, Lullabies