Monday, August 29, 2016

They said age is just a number yet sometimes people pushed us to do things because-they said-our age tells to do so. Being in 20s age is being in the zone of questions. Some are already got their bachelor's degree, some are already have themselves financial-free, some are already found about what they want to do in their very own life, some are already find their halves. Some are, in the stage where they're still about to figure it all out and being questioned. It took me lot of nerves, being questioned about similar cases above or at least knowing that I would be in such circumstances. The most nerve-wracking one is, about our half-or marriage thingy.
In a family gathering, best friend's wedding, or attending the wedding of our parent's friend's daughter/son; similar questions will most possibly be brought up if there are any 20s-aged kid nearby. And it happened to be a really big deal for the single one. In a family gathering, we will sit in circle among cousins and start counting the order, who should be the next to get marry; or we will sit in thoughtful mind and calmless heart among all the elders, being questioned about when will we be planning for it. No matter in what circumstances, it always looked like 'a yes' is the right answer (or the expected one?). I don't know, but when 'a no' is come up, it feels like there's something wrong with us. Well maybe it wasn't totally 'a no' but a 'not yet' instead. We shouldn't get marry just because our cousins or friends are already. Marriage is not a trend. Moreover, it's not a competition. It's no big deal who's first. It takes maturity (both physically and mentally), faith, readiness, and it's different in each of us. Everybody has their own experiences, that's what make us different and build our decisions differently.

What's makes it pressed us depper is the reality that sometimes people are just curious rather than care. People only throwed 'when' and 'when' everytime they smelled no sign of progress. "When will you introduce us to him/her?" and everytime we come up with less explanation or blurry answers like "someday" or "I don't know" they'll only teases us even more. Without even bother to know more if maybe we aren't ready yet, if we still wondered whether we've find the right person, or simply because we don't even met him/her yet. It confused me when sometimes they already knew the answers yet still asked us right away.
I think we couldn't always being asked why, because that's what happen to us, not that we want it. We can't choose to be happened in certain places or with certain people. We're happened to be us. Maybe we've already done our best and the result doesn't suit us. Perhaps we need to unravel the path and rechecking where are those mistakes we did. Which part has failed us. The answer we reveal may be the most unexpected one, the we-never-thoughht-about-it-before one. Because everything happen in the right time and place, doesn't it? I choose to believe that way. No matter how hard we tried to make this like this if it's not the time yet, it won't happen. How much we sacrificed for a relationship if he's/she's not the one, it won't work. But we have to keep doing so that we will know with equal or better efforts, which one is work out best.

Our society build our opinion and sometimes we distinguish right or wrong based on how many or few people involved. Let's just say something is right when there are so many people in it, and vice versa. When it comes to marriage, if someone with a single marital status spotted among his/her enganged/married friends, people will look at him/her differently as there's something wrong. Is it really what happen to us? What's wrong with us? Once again, it's not something that we want, it's what happen to us. Perhaps we can do better by wishing our best or "I hope you'll find him/her soon" kind of words instead of questioning for curiosity reason. We don't want someone become withdrawal just because one question. Let's tighten our society with supports and encouragement to one another, and try to live better. 
Someone said, things didn't work out because greater thing were in the works but we're so hurting and don't know which way is up. I believe everything happen for reason and will happen in the right time and place. We may not see it today or tomorrow but in a few years, we'll look back and be perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought us somewhere wonderful-or where we always wanted to be. As in the matter of love, I'm kind of love-will-find-a-way believer. So if you've find yours already, congratulation! For those who haven't yet, be patience because you have more times to developing yourself and abilities to make you better a person for your future soulmate. One day when there are questions from families, friends, parent's friends, relatives, or colleagues about marriage thingy and we'd still have no idea about it, let's just say, "We'll see about that." perhaps?

Patience and Love agreed to meet at a set time and place; beneath the twenty-third tree in the olive orchard. Patience arrived promptly and waited. She checked her watch every so often but still, there was no sign of Love. Was it the twenty-third or the fifty-sixth? She wandered and decided to check, just in case. As she made her way over to the fifty-sixth tree, Love arrived at twenty-third, where Patience was noticeably absent. Love waited and waited before deciding he must have the wrong tree and perhaps it was another they supposed to meet.
Meanwhile, Patience had arrived at the fifty sixth tree, where Love was still nowhere to be seen. Both begin to drift aimlessly around the olive orchard, almost meeting but never do. Finally, Patience, who was feeling lostvand resigned, found herself beneath the same tree where she began. She stood there for barely a minute when there was a tap on her shoulder. It was Love.
"Where are you?" She asked. "I have been searching all my life."
"Stop looking for me,"Love replied,"and I will find you."
- Lang Leav, Lullabies

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