FIRST DAY OF WINTER (Letter For the Stiff)

Perhaps not so many people waiting for winter
perhaps almost everyone always longed for summer
series of holiday plans
bright sunny days
clothes that never soggy
or not necessarily muddy

But to me, winter doesn't always freeze
few important things occured in winter, sometimes
first snow or first raindrop in town
sparks of emotion
which didn't go further
maybe the coldness of winter
frost the feeling
between people who knows one or other thing

Maybe they feel shy
or everything was only fantasy leaving one cry
I don't know why
I always wanna know when will the winter coming
as I longed for the desirable ending

are you going to tell
when is the first day of winter?

ps: baby, it's cold outside


Speaking of my last longing-childhood post, this post will still be in similar situation. Let's talk about, what did human do in their life, what they did it for, and why. What I knew most of my life is, we're living several stages of education to be graduate so that we'll have a better life (if we had a bad one. If we already had a good one, then it has to be much much better).
We enroll into kindergarten where all we did were playing all day, and get scored for it. So we can enroll into a favorite elementary school and make as many friends as we met at school. So that we don't have any obstacles to adapt in junior high. Registering in every non-academic activities so we got friends from every class in school and got to know better of our first crush (and we'd naturally find our personal soul spirit to go to school everyday). So that when we enroll in senior high, we already know each other with our schoolmates thanks to school experiences which often reunite us and our peers in junior high or long-time-no-see friends in elementary and kindergarten Furthermore, we make friends across senior highs so when we enroll college, we know everyone in town *triple clap*. We actively participated in any meaningful activities or social movements while we tried our best in every subjects and grabbed the scholarships. So that we can punctually graduated and make our parents proud of us.
Story above is the less obstacles version. We all know the reality is not as smooth as the theories. It's a different story if we're not so much kind of an easy going kid and adaptation is not an easy thing for us, if we're not kind of energetic well-known student and still did good grades, and so on, and so on.
For those who had purposes in their entire life, they seem always had another plans. Plus if they have certain abilities or get supported by their surroundings. What happen to those who isn't? They stuck with their life. It's always looks easier on others's. The neighbour's grass are always greener.
While I had this thought haunting, I found such calming words from my fave blogger . What she wrote just reflecting what I'd been thinking stealthyly and she came with her words waking up my mind. She wrote:
"Sometimes we'd feel stuck with ourselves, while everybody else seems like they always know what to do. Sometimes you'd just stand still like a building, and watch the cloud passes by.
But there's a power in waiting, and not-knowing; it gives you a longer time to plant the roots deeper. Next time when the blizzard come, you'll be the one who stand strong.
And for the majority of people, it's a privilege to be able to do nothing and live completely in the moment... .
So now breathe.
(And act like one bxdxss building, because you can)."
I think it's true when we through such stagnation in our life, maybe it was a little whisper that all we need to do is all what stagnation can do; do nothing. We'll think and see more clearly at the possibility of which pebbles will make us stumble, and we will walk carefully.

Until we realize that some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won't have a title til much later, so embrace uncertainty (Adam Powell). Everybody has their turns to blooms, no matter who's first.

xx virgamaleva


Things were quite different

now and then

Anything seems  so so easy

when we’re kiddy

to have just running aimlessly

Or to have math as our most difficult matter

and wishing we were older,

sometimes when they asked, we said want to be doctor

and time running faster

As our wishes

it is now useless

to think how easy and fun childhood was

At least we can tell

it’s hardly necessary to dwell

So that we don’t drag on regret

about anything that we do and don’t get

Perhaps things just don’t work out

and the future screams loud

We’ve been showed by the truth

life is wasted in youth

Forced to live life today

is something we have to pay

But speaking of which

instead of busy making ourselves prosperous and rich

Why don’t we thank after all

-as we noticed at peripheral-

for who and what we are

to any souls who's yearning for childhood

xx virgamaleva 


First of all I would call this post as a way of sharing about how certain movies were intrigued me, rather than a movie review. Here's one of my fave movie: Letters to Juliet (2010). Proof of its capability about aroused my interest is simply that I finally put it into blog as I'm doing now.
Short story there was Claire, sent a 'letter to juliet' in Juliet's House, Verona, telling her perplexity of love. Here's Claire's letter hoping to find an answer:
I didn't go to him, Juliet.
I didin't go to Lorenzo.
His eyes were so full of trust.
I promised I'd meet him and run away together
because my parents don't approve.
But, instead, I left him waiting for me
below our tree-waiting and wondering where I was.
I'm in Verona now,
I return to London in the morning and I am so afraid.
Please, Juliet tell me what I should do?
My heart is breaking and I have no one else to turn to.

Love, Claire 

and she got her letter replied...
50 years later,
written by Sophie-under the name of Juliet-who was accidentally found Claire's letter. 
Dear Claire, "What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be.
But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you
for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?
I don't know how your story ended but
if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late.
If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now?
You need only the courage to follow your heart.
I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for,
love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it,
that I will have the courage to seize it.
And, Claire,
if you didn't,
I hope one day that you will.
All my love, Juliet.

Well Claire may got a very late reply, but then it was just tell us nothing is too late when it comes to love, no? And as a lesson for any young-lovers in wheresoever that, whenever you have to choose between what you think and what you feel, please never hesitate to always follow what's in your heart. Aside from the love-life part spices the whole story, I think this movie has a strong meaningful message. And I believe, the famous follow-your-heart command is not as easy as we asked it to others. I am wondering if I have the ability, if I have the courage, without considering any other things? For the moment, I don't know.
In spite of all, is this movie stands on the list of your favorite too?

xx virgamaleva


Have you been through series of unwanted experience caused by misunderstanding / misconception / miscommunication-you named it, and what has been your biggest question mark about it lately, is: "What if?" What if I didn't do it before? What will gonna happen now? Well, the most annoying part is if it has an emotional involvement in it.
There's a moment in my life when I had an extreme feeling-and it's either positive or negative one-I end up couldn't say it. Barely able to speak. Because of it (and sometimes because a silly reason and my stupidity), there's a few undesirable things happen and people I want them to stay, left.

Of course I was very apologetic, but what was happen just make me more observant. It makes me to see at things more clearly, to treat people better, and learn that I can't just underestimate an extreme feeling.
I've been through it and if only I could possibly fix anything, I wish to have bravery and say what I feel. Properly.